Copy cat

That's what I meant to say as I conversed with my sister this morning. I called her to wish her Happy Birthday because I wasn't able to get to a phone yesterday. (our mom had me running her around alllllllll day!)
We were discussing a humorous story about coffee cups and one of her friends brought her a new one for her birthday because the one she was using was a disgrace to the avid coffee drinker.
I was coveting my bosses coffee cup and expressing my desire to find one like it and told my sister, "I would go out and find one like it but I don't want to be a coffee cat!".

I'm still chuckling. I hope it made my sis's day!

Happy Birthday Sis! Hope you enjoyed your new "mug" from your friend and the chuckle from me.

I'm beautiful....

And didn't know it. I look in the mirror and my hair is growing out from the short cut, I'm a bit overweight, my skin is red and ruddy looking(to me). I never feel beautiful.

I go to a photo shoot to assist my photographer ( I am attempting to train with her). We take some preliminary shots to test lighting and such. She gives me this disk with the pics on it and here is some of what I found.

I don't know about anyone else, but these pics make me look hot! And I found out from the photographer that no editing was done on the top pic other than cropping and the only editing on the bottom pic was just putting it in black and white and coloring in the fan. Everything else is 100% me! It really helped my self image and looking at myself through others eyes. It certainly boosted my ego a little.

Love to all!

Life Change

So, I went to church Wed. night. I was convicted as I sat there feeling overwhelmed about so many things. Mostly about time. Feeling I never have any and i can't seem to complete a task even when I try. God spoke to me and said it was my laziness. I'm lazy. Along with being used and abused and taken advantage of. He made it clear to me that if I used my time more wisely and were not lazy then I would have more time to accommodate others needs in addition to ours. Sitting at the computer for many hours a day was not helping matters. The church prayed over me, a friend and another member prayed with me in making our requests known before God. He prayed for specifics and one of them was that I would have wisdom in the use of my time. (what amazes me is that this person didn't know before hand that he was praying for the very thing I was struggling with.)
Thursday morning was spent with God. I had a clear head and it felt as if God was answering prayers and revealing to me exactly what needed to be done. I got up, cut my hubby's hair, got the baby up and dressed, got them both breakfast, and started on the dishes.
Enter, the devil.
Yup, the phone rang. I ignored it and let it go to voicemail. I was on a roll. Nothing was going to stop me, I was going to accomplish much.
10 minutes later the phone rang again. It's the same person calling. I'm thinking o.k., this must be important for them the be calling like this.
Mistake number one. Making an assumption.
Mistake number two. Answering that phone.
Yup, it was someone needing us to tote them someplace. It seems to be a constant around here now. I'm beginning to think the business I need to start is a taxi service company. I've already got clientele. Oh wait, they don't pay!! There is way more to this story regarding all these people calling us to take them places, but I won't go into it with you now. It would take too long.
I hung up the phone and screamed! Yes, I really screamed. A bloodcurdling, keening, "I can't take it anymore" scream. A real one.
As my panic attack began I thought about one of the ladies who prayed with me. She knew about the current situation and so I called her. What a blessing! She taught me a simple way to say "NO".( a word I can't seem to grasp the concept of for some reason even though saying it more often would make my life so much easier).
Find a secretary. Or just an alternate number you can give out, like your cell phone or something. In my case I don't have a cell phone and no one that I know of who would be willing to take a call for me if I did this. She suggested the pastor's cell phone. Yea, like he doesn't have enough people calling him for useless crap all the time and can take on all the people who call me for useless crap! I called him to see what he thought. What better person to get advice from about prioritizing and time scheduling than a pastor?
More great ideas poured in and I am happy to say I can now say "NO" without being riddled with guilt. I was just feeling like the excuse of "I have to do housework" was a lame excuse to give to someone who has no food and wants to be taken to the store where a manager has offered to donate food to them. Never mind to me that I see a habit being formed among other little red flags going up with these people. Yea, I know, put plastic wrap around my head and paint my body white, I'm a sucker!
So, my outgoing message now explains that until the 21st we are not available unless you have a life or death emergency that you feel we need to be involved with in which case you can call the church number at duh, d,duh,d,duh.
So, my kitchen is completely clean from top to bottom. My dining room table is clean but has papers that need sorted. My laundry is being done as I type. My living room, with a little more work, could possibly be in a magazine for looking nice. My bed is made up with clean sheets and Kea has been bathed and is shining. I'm on the right track. I can feel a change. A life change. And it feels good.
Thank God for good friends that He sends your way to help you with just what you need.

Ghosts

There are three of them.
Gray blobs moving effortlessly from one space to the next.
Opening and closing doors.
Leaving indentations on the beds and furniture.
Causing us to awake in the middle of the night with a heavy weight on our chests, feeling as if we are suffocating!
Rattling cabinet doors, moving the curtains, moving things across the floor.
Pulling the sheets from our bed while we sleep.
"Tickling" our feet, they've even left marks from their ire.

There are three of them, reeking havoc on our home.


They are our cats. Annabelle, Gizmo, and Juliette.
This thought struck me how much cats are like "ghostly" apparitions when I was standing in the bathroom putting cream on my face and my bathroom door opened. No one was there and I wasn't touching it. This has happened on more than one occasion causing me to pause and catch my breath sometimes. Only to realize it's one of my girls coming to grace me with her presence.

I love living with my "ghosts".

Today....

"Today we are going crazy, you wanna come?"
That's from Jon and Kate plus 8. I keep hearing that phrase on the commercial advertising their show. I think it's appropriate for most families no matter who, what, where, or how you came from.

Today my tooth hurts really bad. There is no money to go get it pulled. Just like last time. I'm swishing with peroxide and mouthwash extra to see if that will help. It hurts bad. I took one of my vicodins last night around 2 a.m. and didn't even get through the short note I was writing Michael to tell him what I had to do so he would know what was going on if he couldn't wake me up the next day. I needed him to call my work and let them know what happened. When you are hurting badly enough you will do nearly anything to make it stop. Even if it means taking medicine you don't normally take.(yes, it was prescribed to me by my doctor) I don't like to take anything stronger than over the counter meds for this very reason I'm about to tell you.
I barely made it through writing the note to Mike before I was giggling. About what? Only heaven knows. And dizzy. Whew was I dizzy! I had eaten a few crackers but I'm guessing it wasn't enough to help absorb the meds. (And I had only taken half of the pill, I was too apprehensive about taking something that strong anyway to take the whole pill, I can only imagine what shape I would be in if I had taken a whole one) I was on a doctor prescribed high basically. For all of that trouble though the pain never went away, I just didn't care about it anymore and thought it was funny. I tried to go to bed and it only made the pain worse. I decided to go into the living room and sleep in the recliner and on my way I fell over onto the bed. I thought that was funny to and had Michael getting onto me because I was laughing so hard he was afraid I was going to wake the baby up. Needless to say, he helped me to the chair and I settled in for what I was praying would be some restful sleep. Nope. I slept restlessly for about an hour and ended up waking up at 5 am hurting worse than before and with my arms asleep.(at least some part of my body was getting some rest). I dozed from there until time to get ready for work. I somehow managed to get myself there and could hardly talk so my coworker told me to go home. I made tuna salad and wrapped some cookies and left. Mike left for work begging me not to take anymore of the "good" stuff. I of course wouldn't do that while I'm alone caring for my child. I don't like the feeling it gives me. I can't run the risk of my one and only getting hurt, or worse just so I can have pain relief. When she goes down for a nap I'll be able to put some ice on it and try and nap a little. My biggest problem today is the lack of sleep. I think I'm getitng used to the pain.
Anyway, gotta go put punkin to bed. Love to all from my groggy state of mind!

My new utensil drawer

I have a little professional organizer in my home and didn't even know it. Well, that's not quite true because they've attempted at re-organizing my home before and I just won't allow it.

Yesterday, as I was doing the dishes(by hand, yes some people still have that skill) my "little helper" stood beside me on a stool and assisted. She did a pretty good job rewashing everything I washed. With the dishes all done we moved on to bigger housekeeping responsibilities and watched the satellite guy install our new system(yippee). My girl went off to complete whatever tasks that a two year old feel they need to complete at that moment.

As I began supper I opened my silverware drawer to quickly discover what a two year old does! Our utensils were all jumbled up. Someone had given us a free drawer makeover! What a blessing!

Today we went to the Health Department building and was finally able to receive W.I.C. it is a precious commodity now with Mike's hours cut and very little money coming in for things that are needed. We are learning what things are actually "needed" and what things are "wants". You don't NEED certain types of foods. You can live with beans and rice or ramen noodles if you have to. It's not pleasant but it's filling and keeps you from feeling like you are starving to death. I'm learning you can even go without a meal or two if you have to. As long as the baby has food in her tummy. But, praise the Lord the government still assists and we are eligible. I just got home from the store and we now have 2 gallons of milk, a pound of cheese(which we couldn't even afford to buy before wic) a huge box of cereal, oatmeal, eggs, juice, and peanut butter. Praise God. I only had to scrape together about 10 dollars for some bread. We can at least have PB&J sandwiches, or egg sandwiches and grilled cheese. We are praying God will bless us a little bit more financially so we can get some fresh veggies. In the meantime we are being thankful for the canned veggies that are very inexpensive. After getting our checks for W.I.C. I went by the post office hoping against hope that our landlord and his accountant had sent the deposit refund check they owe us. Everyday we check our mail in hopes of that check because it will help get our checking account out of the negative and everyday my heart is let down when it's not there. It is so frustrating to know there is money that could help us and it's rightfully ours but because of other people's actions we can't use it. (grow of frustration) Because they are dragging their feet we are about to lose our bank account and get into trouble with them and be turned over, yet again, to the credit bureau. It seems the harder one tries to get ahead in everything the thicker and stickier the mud gets so you end up further behind than when you started. The whole, "one step forward, two steps back" analogy. This is where our trust in God is truly tested. I think I'm failing right now though.
Another praise though is that a friend of ours sent us a telephone number to one of the "controllers" of Toys for Tots. I called him and explained our situation and he insisted I go down and sign Kea up for toys for tots this year. He explained that the program is normally for chronic needy families but this year he has been seeing alot of families who are in so much need that are normally self sufficient and he knows we are the type of people who will work hard to get back on track and pull out of this slump. He wanted us to be sure she has a good Christmas this year and so I went and signed her up and we are picking up her gifts on December 20th! Praise the Lord for friends who watch out for us!! My other friend is driving me to New Port Richey sometime this month to also register Kea for The Angel Tree Project. I guess it works like an adoption type program. Your child's picture, name, and information of clothes sizes, age, etc. is put on a card and hung on a Christmas tree in a public area or store. A random person looking to donate to charities or help out a needy family for the holidays then picks an "angel" off the tree and buys Christmas presents for them. They then take the gifts to a designated location and drop them off to be ready for pick up by the parents of the child they are being given to. I very nearly did this one year when I used to work in law enforcement. We also used to go out with the deputies who would fill their trunks up with toys and drive through needy neighborhoods passing the toys out. It was always so much fun and often times would make up for the dreariness of the job itself. I never would have believed that I might one day be the mother to a child whose family didn't have the funds to provide for them. My dream is one day to have the ability to budget some money so that Kea can buy presents for a child in need. I think it's even more rewarding than getting presents yourself. Watching the little faces light up to get something they never would dream they would have and seeing the parents faces fill up with gratefulness that their child wasn't left out this time. It's such a heart warming experience. I suggest that everyone do it at least once in their lives and, if possible, make it a habit every year. It certainly has taken a small weight off of our shoulders to know she will have a blessing this Christmas and that God is providing for her. We are definitely going to tell her that the gifts are from God and how he will use people, even complete strangers, to provide for His own children's needs. I do not believe in telling kids that this stuff comes from Santa Claus. First of all you raise your children telling them about Santa Claus, The Easter bunny, The tooth fairy, and all of that and then they grow up to find out they are imaginary characters thought up by people. What happens when you tell your child about Jesus Christ? They grow up to realize you can't see Him or even audibly hear Him. What's to say they aren't automatically going to assume He isn't real either? I don't want to take that chance. Every holiday we have or celebrate will be centered around Jesus Christ and all the grace, mercy, and gifts or provisions He and He alone makes possible for us.

Well, sorry this was so long today. There was a lot to catch up on and alot happened! It's been another good day.

In touch with the real world again

Thanks to a wonderful anniversary present from my sister we are now again in touch with the real world! We have satellite again!
I wasn't missing it too much. I could find whatever I needed to know online through the internet. My husband on the other hand, he was going stir crazy. Especially on Monday and Friday nights. Not getting to watch WWE and RAW(wrestling) was reeking havoc in our home. He was miserable on those nights.

I cannot thank my sister enough! Thank you, thank you. He loves it! Well, he will love it. He hasn't gotten home yet so he doesn't know it's been installed. I can't wait to see him when he comes home and sees it on.

My daughter apparently missed having it as well. She ran to her room and got her pillow and blanket off her bed and through them up on the couch begging me to "hep". I had to arrange her so she could sit on the couch all cuddled in her blanket so she could watch "Orwa" (dora). She is definitely her fathers child.

Well, I'm going to go and wash and dry some clothes and finish up the dishes since I don't have to chase a 2 year old around now!

Love to all.